The world turned to bring us closer. It turned on itself and in us...until it finally brought us together in this dream.

< 21 grams >

Rectoverso

Rectoverso adalah gambar yang saling mengisi antarmuka belakang dan depan. Salah satu contoh rectoverso yang bisa kita temui sehari-hari adalah ikon gambar di lembar uang kertas. Misalkan, ada sebuah rectoverso yang secara utuh berupa lingkaran yang di dalamnya ada lima kelopak, berjajar teratur dan berpusat pada satu titik tengah.

Di satu sisi kertas, gambar yang dimunculkan adalah lingkaran dengan tiga kelopak. Di sisi lain, adalah gambar lingkaran dengan dua kelopak, yang apabila disatukan dengan sisi baliknya akan menampilkan rectoverso yang utuh, lingkaran dengan lima kelopak yang teratur dan berpusat pada satu titik tengah.

Perspektif kita yang parsial tidak akan melihat bahwa diri kita sebenarnya adalah rectoverso. Terlalu banyak manusia yang menghabiskan seumur hidupnya dalam perasaan hampa, seakan-akan ada sesuatu yang hilang dari dirinya dan tidak tahu apa. Lalu mereka mencari, dan mencari. Keluar dari inti mereka sendiri, dan kemudian tersesat. Dengan bermacam-macam cara mereka lalu memeras keringat dan otak untuk mendefinisikan "sesuatu" yang hilang itu, yang kebanyakan mereka anggap berada di luar sana.
Manusia memang seolah didesain untuk menunaikan satu misi, mencari tahu asal usul mereka. Demi kembali merasakan keutuhan itu, yang niscaya akan membuat mereka berhenti merasa kecil dan teralienasi di tengah megahnya jagad raya.

Lalu, bagaimana kalau ternyata apa yang kita kira selama ini sebagai ketidaklengkapan sebenarnya hanya rectoverso belaka? Yang artinya, kita tidak perlu ke mana-mana. Yang artinya lagi, untuk merasa utuh kita hanya perlu merubah perspektif kita. Ketika kita berhasil mengambil jarak dari benih-benih pemecah belah dalam pikiran kita, maka rectoverso akan tampil. Yang artinya lagi (dan lagi), apa yang Anda ingin cari tidak berada di luar sana. Sebaliknya, sangat dekat, tak berjarak. Temukan kenop anda, dan putar. Lihat dengan cara yang lain.

Berhentilah merasa hampa. Berhentilah minta tolong untuk dilengkapi. Berhentilah berteriak-teriak ke sesuatu di luar sana. Berhentilah bertingkah seperti ikan di dalam kolam yang mencari-cari air. Apa yang anda butuhkan semua sudah tersedia penuh. Tidak ada sesuatu pun yang dapat berpisah satu sama lain.

Tinggal kemauan Anda untuk mampu menyadarinya atau tidak.

Temukan kenop Anda, dan putar.

No one plants me, no one singles me out, I just grow. Anywhere, a delicate flower, scattered here and there; I bring delight to those who pick me, I bloom when I am left alone. I grew up, I stand upright, I lean..Place me on a heart and I'll make it throb. Brush me across your lips and I'll make them blush...

the mile

People come into our lives and walk with us a mile, and then because of circumstance they only stay a while. They serve a need within the days that move so quickly by, and then are gone beyond our reach, we often wonder why. God only knows the reason that we meet and share a smile, why people come into our lives and walk with us a mile.

Soulmate?

Soulmate. 2 little words, 1 big concept. A believe that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart, and your dreamhouse. All you have to do is find them. So, where is this person? And if you love someone and it didn't work out, does that mean they weren't your soulmate? Were they just a runner-up contestant in this gameshow called 'Happily ever after'? And as you move from agebox to agebox, and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soulmate less and less? Soulmates. Reality or Torture Device?

No regrets...

TSG...Only God knows how much I missed his smile…but then, only God knows how relieved I am that I don’t have to see that smile again.
Me: You have proven that you’re not worth it. We’re through.
Him: …

my last breath...it ends here tonight...

Hold on to me love, you know I can't stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I'm not afraid
Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your arms...holding my last breath...
Save inside my self...are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

I'll miss the winter, a world of fragile things..
Look for me in the white forest, hiding in a hollow tree...
Come find me...

I know you hear me...I can taste it in your tears...

Closing your eyes to dissapear
You pray your dreams will leave you here
but still you wake and know the truth..
no one's there...

Say good night...don't be afraid...
Calling me, calling if you fade to black...
Sweet raptured light, it ends here tonight...

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
..holding a hand..
and chaining a soul..,
and you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t mean security,
and you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
and presents aren’t promises,
and you begin to accept your defeat
with your head up and your eyes open…
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child..
and you learn to build your roads on today because tomorrow’s ground
is too uncertain for plans
After a while, you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much
So… plant your garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers, and you’ll learn..
that you really are strong
and you really do have worth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Friend is someone we turn to, when our spirits
need a lift
A Friend is someone we treasure, for our
friendship is a gift
A Friend is someone who fills our lives with
peace, joy and love,
and makes the world we live in a better and
happier place.

special thanks and hugs to Ichel :)

big fight

04.30 pm. Citos Parking Lot. Big fight with TSG.
05.00 pm. Citos. Amadeus.
Arief: Girl, you look like shit…what happened?
Me: …
Fajar (SMS) : Can’t help noticing something’s wrong. Wanna tell me what happened before I get back there?
Me (SMS): I’m tired of this shit…Gapapa, lo ke sini aja, Jar..

11.00 pm. Circa. With Fajar, Arief, Dimas, Kinkin, and a glass of Martini.
Is he still worth it?

Everybody's Fool

Perfect by nature, icons of self indulgence
Just what we all need
More lies about the world that
never was and never will be..
Have you no shame, don't you see me?
You know you've got everybody fooled

Look here she comes now, bow down and stare in wonder
Oh how we love you, no flaws whan you're pretending..
But know I know she
never was and never will be..
You don't know how you've betrayed me
and somehow you've got everybody fooled

Without the mask where will you hide?
Can't find yourself, lost in your lies..

I know the truth now, I know who you are
and I don't love you anymore...

It never was and never will be..
You're not real and you can't save me
Somehow now you're everybody's fool...

Fallen

Heaven Bend to take my hand, And lead me through the fire. Be the long awaited answer, to a long and painful fight. Truth be told I tried my best, but somewhere long the way...I got caught up in all there was to offer. But the cost was so much more than I could bear….
Though I've tried, I've fallen...I have sunk so low…I messed up. Better I should know… So don't come round here and tell me I told you so…
We all begin out with good intent when love is raw and young. We believe that we can change ourselves, the past can be undone. But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals. In the lonely light of morning, in the wound that would not heal…It's the bitter taste of losing everything, I've held so dear….
I've fallen...I have sunk so low…I messed up. Better I should know… So don't come round here and tell me I told you so…
Heaven bend to take my hand, I've nowhere left to turn. I'm lost to these I thought were friends to everyone I know. Oh they turn their heads embarrassed, pretend that they don't see. That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it. And there doesn't seem away to be redeemed…
Though I've tried, I've fallen…I have sunk so low… I messed up. Better I should know… So don't come round here and tell me I told you so...